Sunday, 14 December 2008

god V the big rock.. (religiohumour)

"Can god create a rock that is so big that he couldn't lift it?"

is that the sort of thing you would ask of a god, because .... well, this is a fucking stupid challenge for god..... but let's insult our intelligence and belittle your precious god...

* firstly, but perhaps not so obviously, how would you present this challenge to god? have you got god's cell phone number? because that prayer thing doesn't seem to be very reliable

actually i could stop there... but i am not, and:

* why would god submit to such a petty challenge from a *mere* mortal like yourself in the first place? Such a challenge is beneath the likes of *god* and would be insulting to such a god that you would dare to even propose such a challenge. Frankly, it is a good thing there is no god because I would expect god to smite you for even thinking such a thing.

* why would god make a rock so big that god couldn't move it? isn't that a bit like making the world's biggest boat, but then not being able to launch it because you built the fucker too far inland? or the boat is so big that no ocean can hold it ... ie what's the point other than to beckon to the whims of this feeble and mortal humans' challenge?

* how could making a rock in the first place, be more difficult than moving said rock?

I assume this god is going to make this rock in an instant out of nothing. If god can frikking do that, then god can *also* frikking move that frikking rock with the same frikking magic that frikking created the frikking rock in the first frikking place. after all it *is* god, god can do anything, remember?

* this is my favourite stupid bit about this: in order to attempt to lift this rock, the surface that god would have to stand on would require way more mass than the rock being lifted in order for the ground that god is standing on to stay still while he lifted the rock, if he could lift it, that is.

therefore not only does god have to create a rock so big that potentially god couldn't move it, but god would also have to create a suitably sized planet to stand on to be able to lift this rock in the first place and most planets, as far as I know, are at least a trillion times bigger than most rocks.

earth is 5.9742 × 10 to the power of 24 kilograms or 5,974,200,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilograms .. so a rock that is a 1,000 kilos, is a billion trillion times less massive than the rest of the earth, or there abouts!

so this "too big" rock that god made, in order to be lifted, would also require a suitably sized solid surface planet with sufficient mass for god to stand upon. This planet would probably need to be at least a few billion times more massive than the rock so that god can stand on something to attempt to lift this rock that was too big in the first place.... right?

* what limit is there to god, none? so if god is limitless how can the actual term "big" be used at all? how big is infinity? it's infinite. how big is big? it's *big* etc etc

* one of the "solutions" I've heard is that if god created a rock so big that he couldn't lift it, he would move the universe such that the rock did move in relation to the rest of the universe.... anyone see the flawed logic in that?

in order for the rock to be in that universe, the universe would have to be bigger than the rock, so how could god not move the rock that he created that was too big and yet could still move the universe around it?

sure the universe would be less massive seeing how there is so much empty space in it, but it would be a lot trickier to move all the separate bits of the universe simultaneously than to move the rock itself wouldn't it?

* so this rock has more mass than the entire universe? if so, the gravity of a rock that big would suck the whole universe into it wouldn't it?

* oh yeah, and a rock the size of the universe, would collapse under its *own* gravity, maybe that's what the big bang was, god was tricked into creating a rock so big that it collapsed in on itself in a super massive explosion, maybe that's why Satan got kicked out of heaven, for playing a prank on god?

"I'm sorry Mrs Satan, but we just can't continue to condone the behaviour of your son, Lucifer, in heaven any more. he has been expelled for being a disruptive influence on urr, uhmm, whatever it is that we do in heaven all the time."

* if god is infinite, and he created a rock so big he couldn't lift it and somehow it didn't collapse in on itself, couldn't god just expand himself to become big enough to then lift that rock that he couldn't lift before, right? ...

think outside the fucking box, the question itself is flawed

and don't tell me it's just an analogy designed to make a point, the *point* itself is flawed as well, as the challenge is a bullshit one in the first place

try to think of a better analogy, I challenge my readers to think of a challenge worthy of god, I can only think of one such conundrum, which seems to have slipped my mind at the moment.

the point, as cryptic as it is, is that you can't define god *ever*, let alone pose it some challenge that you in your extreme arrogance would expect to challenge god somehow.

god is completely beyond this realm, whatever it is you could pose to god he/she/it could do it, otherwise it's not a god, **that** is the point..

there is no practical challenge you could ever hand to a god and defeat him, *none* at all. *EVER*

If you did pose a question to god that stumped it, you would have to be god yourself, that is if god doesn't erase you from history such that the challenge never happened in the first place.

I don't know what christians think god is about, but to even pose any challenge like this to god is blasphemous, is it not?

To do so, is to question the authority of god itself, doesn't that break the first commandment somehow?

if there were a god, it would be present at every moment in time at every point in space simultaneously. humans think so linearly, don't they?

mostly written, 13th December 2008. mostly...

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these are my rantings about religion - i speak fluent sarcasm - know this when you are reading and it will save you some heartache.