Friday, 20 March 2009

religious excuses for hating gays.... (offensive-religio-rant-humour)

religion, dividing the world, again still....

what's the most likely religious reason excuse as to why religious people hate gays?

I mean it says in the bible in that Leviticus bit:

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

and then again, but with more vigilanteeism

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

Frankly I don't see why the male chauvinists haven't latched onto these ones, I mean people are always interpreting the bible however the frack they want and getting away with it, so how about this interpretation of Lev 18:22?

Leviticus 18:22 Do not tell lies to your fellow men (like how you tell lies to women) as it is uncool!

or how about this play on words of Leviticus 20:13?

Leviticus 20:13 If a man fucks another man, once he has already fucked a woman, then both that woman and that man shall be put to death!

So, if you 'lay' with a man the same way you 'lay' with a woman, doesn't that imply that you have had to have had already been 'laid' by the woman in the first place. So that implies to me that it's OK to be gay, as long as you aren't switching sides later on!! LOL! urrr... and if you do flip sides after taking a woman, then the woman is responsible for turning the man gay... (yes, chauvinists should like that one too) ..

of all of these excuses for gayophobia in the bible that i can find, they don't mention that girl on girl action is bad, so one can only assume it's not OK for guys, but being gay is OK for girls... :-D

oh, and then there is this beauty from Doo-too-ron-oh-me (sounds like a droid designation! "Doo-Too!! Doo-Too Oh-Too, where are you?!")

Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so [are] abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Charming. makes me want to be a cross dresser, or get a sex change, and then wear men's clothing! Or maybe the author of Do-Too Oh-Too didn't want women to be wearing any male appendages? "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man" ... maybe that author got a *really* bad birthday present from his woman once, ie. she wore the appendage as a trophy...


Those three verses (old testament by the way) are probably the only three biblical excuses for gating hays, however, those same verses are probably the basis for lots of christian bigotry.

and if you didn't know, the most famously quoted version of the bible, the King James Version, doesn't even have the word "homosexual" in it at all, it uses the word "effeminate", so anybody using the word "homosexual" when quoting the bible, is using one of those versions where somebody has gone and got a convenient translation of the bible. I've seen christians quoting the King James Bible, but then in the next paragraph they are making quotes from the bible that use the word "homosexual".. that's deceitful is it not?

and the word "gay" appears only once in the KJV....

James 2:3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:

i like that one... so apart from the O.T. rubbish from bible, what is the religious reason excuse why people hate gays?

I think it's because gay people *are* gay... not a little bit of the time, not some of the time, not most of the time, no.. they are gay *ALL* the time, because that's who/what/how they are.

just like i am me, not some of the time, not most of the time, but all of the time.

and no, it's not strictly a religious reason...

just like a christian is a christian *all* the time, not a little bit of the time, not some of the time, not most of the time, a christian is a christian at all times... right? well, at least they are supposed to be christian all the time because if they are not christian all of the time, then they are not christian at all.

but...... there are obviously some people who just can't fucking understand the concept that "people are people" and that other people think differently to them. which would explain why USA christians rail against atheists far more than they do against other religious people - to them their line of thinking is that at least other people believe in a god of some sort, I guess it is easy for the christian to say to themselves that other people's gods are just their mistaken view of the christian god, than it is for christians to accept that people don't believe at all.

so as stupid as it sounds, let's just write it out loud

you are, who you are...

sounds like an easy concept to digest, right? ... should be a no-brainer, right? hmmm... but apparently *not*, given the carry on we've all seen online... (if you haven't, welcome to the internet, remember not to believe everything you see and read and you'll do fine)

see, i think some people just can't understand or cope with their world not being how they want it to be, and that's a problem, not only for them, but for the people they are bigoted towards.

Nobody can change *who* someone is, you can only change yourself, so being a bigot to someone, isn't the best way to go about trying to change someone's way of life.

You could even beat someone for being gay, and they might pretend to not be gay, just to escape being beaten, and eventually they could become 'straight' just to conform, just to blend in, but... who's fucking business is that in the first place anyway? Certainly not someone who has *never* even met you, you can't change people's hearts, at least not in the space of two seconds.

You could beat someone for being christian, but would they not just say that they are not believers any more so as to avoid being beaten? would they really stop believing in Jesus, just because you seem to have beaten it out of them?

and some people, clearly can't even be themselves, so to compensate, they want everyone else to not be themselves as well, so they tell these other people these things "stop being yourself, it's an abomination", but, really it's a matter of .. "If i can't get to be who I want to be, then no-one else is going to get to be who they want to be either!!" ... well, that's the impression I get!

"My life is a pointless boring misery so *yours* is going to be the same as well, because I'm too lazy to make a mark in this world, because that requires hard work."

Aside from it not being someone's business what other people do in their bedrooms, if you don't like looking at people who are gay, then don't look at them. Pretty simple, right? After all, you do realise that teh gays are easily identifiable by the flashing neon lights built into the sleeves of their fluorescent jump suits, so just look away when you see the neon.

it will be pink neon, usually.


and you know, maybe those people who are worried that their school age children are getting a 'bad' influence from gay teachers have a point. after all it would be rather distracting to the child's concentration to say the least as it takes effort to treat people with respect especially when they do not deserve it, not to mention they might grow up to be more tolerant of people who are different to them. can't have that happening, now can we? so parents who are concerned that their kids are being "poorly" influenced should be sure to ask their kids if any of their school teachers are having Mardi Gras every class time with scantily clad gay folk parading up and down between the desks? or if any of their teachers wear pink neon lights on their jump suits?


and you know, maybe those rabid packs of homosexuals running around the streets, gang raping paranoid mountain preachers in the arse, just *might* be a problem for society... I mean, those pink neon jump suits might blind some drivers at night time if these rabid-gay-pack-gangs become too large... put all those gays in the one spot and teh gay neon light would be blinding to astronauts up on the International Space Station!


oh, and wouldn't it be a *real* shame if everyone was gay and the human race died out because no-one could have a naturally conceived child any more? I mean, we ALL know that children can only be made when the heterosexual man puts his who-who-dilly in the heterosexual woman's cha-cha!! right?

So if everyone has turned to teh gay side, then there are no more humans being made because it's just not possible for gay people to have children, is it? Two guys can't make a baby, two girls can't make a baby. I mean it's not like gay men would have sex with a woman for the sole purpose of conceiving?!? ewwwwww... not even if you were last member of the opposite sex in the world, honey! not even to save the human race!! ewwwwwwww!!! and it's not like children can be artificially conceived and then implanted into the womb! that's science fiction! and even if it is possible, those children would be evil, conceived and born without souls! (but at least they would be born with pinky neony flashy lighty jumpy suits)

(yes, these sarcastic comments are actually based on real christian fundamentalist arguments... this blog is completely based on REAL and ACTUAL things alleged "christians" have said to me on the internet ... except the flashing pink neon.. i think it was actually more like a pink ribbon instead so one little bit was probably an embellishment ... )

(oh.. i wonder what my point was?)


(oh.. i remember now)

those people who do hate gays, hate gays out of fear... again, it's all about fear.

a fear that their world might collapse because someone might be doing something somewhere that's somehow going to mess up their lives at some time in the future in some way, and it's out of their control, way out of their control in fact and it's going to happen at *any* second... just like Jesus is coming, in like .. five minutes from now... it's all about fear and everybody knows what fear leads to... the Dark Side... :(

so these people act out, but their 'venting' hurts people, some people have died *just* for being gay at the hands of some christian warrior for Jesus or some sort of foot soldier for god, because we all know how busy god is at being impotent omnipotent...

maybe these males who hate gays, just simply fear that upon having butt secks, they might just find it to be pleasurable? I mean we all know how good taking a good shit feels, having butt secks can't be too much different from that, right?...


another (possibly offensive for those without spines) ramble, mostly written on 20th March 2009, mostly...

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these are my rantings about religion - i speak fluent sarcasm - know this when you are reading and it will save you some heartache.