I forget where I read all this stuff so - excuse any technically vague inaccuracies!! another rant, rather nasty one with Nazi and Jew jokes and everything... i think my writings are becoming sloppy because these blogs take so long that the "flow" gets messed up .. i spend ages trying to research this shit - so in actual fact, this is an interpretation of the bible, by someone who doesn't just believe whatever it is they are reading ... eg. it's blasphemy - but who is to say the bible itself isn't blasphemy?? if you are that person, then HELLO JESUS!! I didn't know you were reading my blogs!! good to have you on board
and i have actually researched this having read heaps of "Satanic" material over the last couple of decades, but I did stop short of reading the whole Satanic Bible, now that I have it, probably because I realised that it made *sense* ... that was just too freaky for me to read anything that made sense that had the word "Bible" in it's title - even if the other word was "Satanic"! ... so - surprise surprise surprise (think Gomer Pyle) - Satan is probably my favourite bit of the christian story... so
HAIL . SATAN!!
i keep finding/hearing/reading statements that Satan was commanded to watch over the earth.. i thought that that was how i remembered it too, I think it was in the story of where Satan tempts Jesus in the desert, but i can't find the relevant bible verse to hit people about the head with it now .. but it kind of implies it here in Job as well...
Job 1:7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
but one thing i will note from my Satanic journey (LOL!!!), is that i did find that it was apparently Gadrel, and not Satan, who tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden.. allegedly
I mean you can't argue with wikipedia, especially when they don't explicitly list the source of this Gadrel story..
I'd never heard of Gadrel before - but it also seems that there is a lot of non-canon texts related to the bible - why weren't they added? - the bible was already confusing so why not go the whole hog? Or was that the point? Create enough gaps in the story to fuck everyone around, so they keep coming back to read the bible, to try and find its "hidden" secrets, where you read until you read what it is that you want to read, even though you have read that exact same verse or verses dozens of times????
BASIC . MATHEMATICS
this christian mob, they give Satan a bad rap - don't you think? I think I blogged this before but Satan/Devil/Lucifer is mentioned in the bible like a hundred times *less* than Jesus and god - you'd think Satan was mentioned on every page of the bible the way some people go on about it.. like me! haha.. it just occurs to me that I've read every verse that has "Satan" or "Lucifer" and probably "devil" ... so from my point of view it's about fifty-fifty between the evil verses with Satan in them and the rest of them I've read!
and let's do some more basic math shall we? in the bible, god kills something like 2.3 million people - Satan kills something like TEN! I mean come on!! Oh I googled it and there was this clown saying "oh but god *gave* life in the first place" - i reeooollled my eyes and discontinued reading - so it's OK to take a life if you created it? while I won't argue that point, i ainst takin' sides either!
so a killing ratio of about two hundred thousand to one when u compare god to Satan in the bible hey? and if I'm not mistaken, god said Satan could kill the ones that he did kill!!
so excuse me, it is clear to me that this Satan dude is nowhere near as big a demon as god is!!!!
FUCKING . WHAT!! . WHY? . (aka Hitler V god)
see, this is another thing that makes me say *why* when it comes to the bible????
that "why" question in full being "why the fuck do people believe this shit?!?!" it's like making Charlie Manson the hero of the story, or HITLER!! Mein Fuhrer is the hero of the holocaust... oh if it wasn't for Hitler the Jews wouldn't have gotten the holy land so we give praise unto Hitler.. not!
god is way worse than Hitler - and yet - god is loved!
god killed everyone on earth - if the "Great Flood" happened today that would be six BILLION people dead - Hitler - monster as he was - "only" had MILLIONS of people from minorities put to death - but god didn't discriminate - every person and every animal - yet god's loved? - go figure.. we're a strange bunch aren't we?? perhaps Hitler should have told all those minorities that he loved them before he killed them and everything would have been hunky dory??
It's against the law to deny the holocaust in some countries! How did god get to be such a big shot, having killed nearly everyone on earth? Shouldn't it be against the law to deny that god has fucked us around big time?
this is why the entire bible failed for me, "why am I supposed to be impressed about tales of a monster??!?!?" ... I too can appreciate Hitler's charisma as a leader in getting the German nation to follow him but that doesn't mean I respect him or advocate the end result of his actions!! So why do people believe these stories when there has never been a character more belligerent and vengeful and murderous than the christian/jew/islamic god?!!
Yet he loves you! I love a lot of things too, ice cream, my iPod, clean socks, and I don't particularly care when my ice cream melts, or my iPod has exhausted its power supply, or when my socks get dirty... I go get another ice cream, I listen to music on something else, I put on a clean pair of socks ...
that sounds a bit more akin to the "love" of this god... oh look two hundred thousand people died in a Tsunami, never mind, got plenty more play things to amuse me...
Why do so many people follow monsters??
So back to the point - why is Satan such a monster? Satan did *nothing*, well, nothing god didn't say he could - well, if he actually exists that is!!
The first thing out of character for Satan was the attack on heaven, the bible even says as much, at least the King James Version says it...
And you know, here's something stupid - so *what* even if Satan does exist and is down here tempting us?? HERRO PREASE!!!
This Satan voice in your head tempts you and you go and do the EVIL VILE thing he tempts you to do??? I'm sorry, whooooo's fucking fault is that? You can blame Satan all you want ( you can blame the dog for farting too ) - but it's STILL *YOU* that is the fuckhead that went and did the vile thing!!! Saying the Devil made you do it just doesn't hold up in reality, and it is admission that you are weak minded, that you are a fool. And we all know the universe has no compassion for fools. ergo "The Darwin Awards".
If Satan told you to jump off a cliff, would you? Learn some self control - maybe it's a good thing all these religious people stay religious - imagine a few billion people suddenly having no moral compass when what they dread becomes true - proof that god doesn't exist!! (insert evil laugh)
Is this why nut case christians fear Satan?? because they DO NOT TRUST THEMSELVES TO TELL THE DEVIL TO FUCK OFF AND DO HIS OWN DIRTY WORK?? That they are easily led astray like some lost puppy following the first person home that comes along that they *need* another fantasy to ward off the first one? Oh god will save me from Satan!!
Yes the imaginary creature in your brain will save you from the imaginary creature in your brain. Well done, fucktard.
Don't look at me like I am a monster
Frown out your one face, but with the other (you)
Stare like a junkie into the TV
Stare like a zombie while the mother holds her child,
Watches him die,
Hands to the sky cryin "why, oh why?"
in 2256BC - supposedly - Job was put through the ringers by god, with Satan egging him on .. but Satan was still one of god's angels at this point as it implies in this verse that Satan was to come and go from Earth .. I assume between Earth and heaven... what else is there to assume that makes sense? (oh I spotted the flaw in my logic - the bible doesn't make sense, but let's assume this little bit does)
Job 1:7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
gotta love how the ALL KNOWING god needs to ASK questions, by the way... does this all knowing thing seem a bit exaggerated?? if god is all knowing, he's deliberately faking it, god is deceptive on purpose .. god has gone out of his way to be dishonest! I mean how can you not love this shit!!! and by all means read the whole chapters to get the context, but Satan only did what god said he could do.
i got the year of 2256BC from this page, http://www.adamictimeline.com/adamic10b.html
So just when was Satan cast down to Earth for attacking heaven?
Apparently this happened in 726BC.. After the thing with Job - WAY after the flood and *WAY* *WAY* after the Garden of Eden.. If you don't like that idea that it wasn't Satan in the Garden of Eden ... remember just a few lines up above? Satan *only* ever did what god wanted him to do .. So if Satan was in the Garden of Eden - who is to say that god didn't tell Satan to tempt Eve? It's clearly demonstrated that Satan follows his orders given to him by god - he did with Job, so why not elsewhere?
The victor writes history to his advantage... something like that ...
Isaiah 14:12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! [how] art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
Isaiah 14:13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
Isaiah 14:14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
Isaiah 14:15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
Isaiah 14:28 In the year that king Ahaz died was this burden.
and if you go and look up when King Ahaz died - it's around about the 726BC point in time....
which also just happens to be about the same time of that losing of the day thing ...
Isaiah 38:8 Behold, I will bring again the shadow of the degrees, which is gone down in the sun dial of Ahaz, ten degrees backward. So the sun returned ten degrees, by which degrees it was gone down.
The dates are a little out - but this *is* a story we are talking about
However at first before this attack on heaven, Satan, was given the task of looking over the earth, he was our guardian, along with a third of the angels, he was commanded to watch over the earth, to look out for us - from what, I'm not sure...
Now here's the bit I can't confirm, why was Satan sent down to us to watch over us? The only excuse I have found, which I can't re-find, is that god did this because apparently god was jealous of Lucifer's cherub hotness - hmmmm... all the angels must have been giving god the cold shoulder with Lucifer around... ?? mayhaps? But the "evidence" (LOL! The bible used as evidence, I kill me!) clearly shows that Satan was definitely sent to us before the time of Job.
((note to reader: I would really love to find the bit where Satan is sent - not cast out - to earth by god, so if you know, speak up!))
but then after a thousand years or so in 726BC - god read the heart of Lucifer, as indicated by Isaiah up above - and found that Lucifer was coveting the "throne" so to speak - oh really? hmmm... so god is jealous of Lucifer, or at the least, he sends Satan to earth for some reason, and then god just happens to .... discover that Lucifer wants to be top dog... convenient much? It's a bit of a stretch I know, but I've seen worse interpretations of the bible ... Like half a fucking line being used as the basis for the Earth fixed in space at the centre of the universe!
but the point is - what is god worried about anyway? it's frikking god, right? does this not imply that god is capable of being killed, imprisoned, coerced into compliance via threats of what? pain, death? and why did god not actually fight? Supreme being could have just clicked its fingers and bye bye - no more war against heaven...
ie. god must be something less than the "all powerful" bull shit i keep hearing ... otherwise god is a faker, or a coward...
come on people!! how can we believe this story?? - there are people who regard the BIBLE as HISTORY!! this is PETTY bullshit I'd expect from some teenage clique!!! Bible-ee Hills 90210 B.C. ... this is far beneath the likes of a god - the christian god is soooo not 'the' god
how would you feel if a parent got you to look after their kids and then after the kids misbehaved, the parent comes home and kills their children??.. what would you do? would you sit there and just let someone kill their kids?
i wouldn't - i don't give a fuck who you are - the pope - the barking dog next door - Abe Lincoln - the Queen - the Dalai Llama, even GOD!! You want to cause harm to people right in front of me i'm gunna step in
WHY . DID . SATAN . ATTACK . HEAVEN?
was god so ticked off at this King Ahaz guy that he was going to ..... go back on his word and wipe us all out again.. send an asteroid instead of a flood this time?
I mean seriously, *why* would Satan attack the "immortal" god, you don't do shit when you know you are going to fail, do you? so it's reasonable to assume that there was a mitigating factor in the attack, because what's the point if Satan was going to fail??? Satan must have known he might be able to win, even though he was outnumbered two to one... and let us not forget that Satan and god got along just fine for at least a few thousand years .. maybe millions ... maybe billions ... maybe just short of forever ... so what fucking changed after all that time??
there is no logic in fighting unless the chance of winning is there - a hopeless battle and fight to the death perhaps to go out with a bang is probably the exception - but - Satan didn't get killed did he? not according to the plethora of christians who insist that Satan is still down here leading us into an ashtray
so maybe Satan did us the biggest favour by attacking heaven .... which might have been just enough to make god go the fuck away and leave us alone and stop fucking us around with global floods and such, killing us all.
is Satan ... our Champion?
Did he stop god interfering? evened up the odds? Is this why god sent Jesus?? because Satan would rise up and defend us from the god monster?? to get around the whole attacking earth directly thing, did god slip one in under the door into Mary's VAGINA in the form of Jesus? or did Satan force god to fucking behave and stop being such a fucking arsehole to us by attacking heaven?
or was Jesus, Satan in disguise? (i did a whole blog on that one!) Did he come to give us the right message from the heavens, to show-up the god monster and show that *fucktard* how it's supposed to be done? Was all the "Saint" Paul stuff actually from god, you know the dude that wrote half the new testament, the dude that probably never even met Jesus and yet he somehow spoke for Jesus? .. *that* "Saint" Paul... well, was he god's attempt to counter all the Jesus bullshit about being nice to everyone? I mean god hates fags after all, allegedly. (god also hates eagles!) Is that why the Old Testament wasn't thrown away?? gotta have the people fearing god!! no point other wise! gotta show em the nasty stuff to give em a bit of fear!!!
DEFENDER, RIDE . LIKE . THE . WIND
Another thing is the *whens* of when all this happened - now there is no way to tell when the angels (ie Satan) were created - but this verse alludes to the angels watching god make the universe
Job 38:7 When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
it's a bit of a stretch .. but before the universe was made god would have seemed to have made the angels as I can only assume the sons of god referred to angels, seeing how the earth was still on the assembly line and all - does anybody love how fascinating all of this is?
suffice to say that Satan - was on the side of good (well, if you count god's side as being "good") at least until god saw into his heart and the attack happened because the jig was up - but - if Satan had been planning this all along - why didn't god see into his heart sooner? I mean, god fucking knows everything, right?
Could it be that Satan was *not* planning anything at all - Satan was doing what he was told to do, that task being to watch over the earth and us humans, right? I mean this god is ALL SEEING and ALL KNOWING - I seriously doubt god would ignore what it saw in Satan's heart, especially if he was going to over throw god!! especially when it seems that god had cause for concern, seeing how it didn't just snap it's fingers and say "begone Satan, your insolence no longer amuses me..."
So, does it not stand to reason that this all seeing god was about to do something that tilted the balance, that made Satan react and attack heaven? this King Ahaz, god was pretty damn pissed at him for allowing everyone to be so naughty ...
was god just about to smite us again?
and did Satan, seeing how his charge was about to be smotified, did Satan follow his orders to the letter, as commanded by god itself, and rise up with his angels to defend us?
Seriously what else was there to defend us from *apart* from god?
did god set Satan up to fail, only to FAIL himself?